Mother’s Day 2012
Today’s blog is not about rude ballet students or unruly children in class. Today I write about reflecting on all those moments shared with mothers — my own and myself as a mother.
Last evening I read a Facebook post by a friend. She was feeling sad this Mother’s Day as her biological and adopted mothers had passed and her son was leaving to serve his country. Her post clearly showed the pain she is feeling.
I do understand her sadness today, her “aloneness”.
I felt her sadness today myself, as I reflected on those gone before me. And yes, both my parents are gone, as are their parents, and my son who will never grow old. As an only child of an only child, that does leave me sort of “alone”.
An epiphany occurred as I spent my Mother’s Day afternoon pulling at garden weeds. I am not alone. The definition of alone includes words such as, friendless, solitary, isolated and so on.
I am not alone. I am surrounded by an adoring husband, who stands by my side and supports all my crazy endeavors. I have tons of cousins some living close by, and some far away. And last but not least many good friends.
My epiphany? I chose not to be sad this Mother’s Day. Happy memories are there for the taking. I remember the first day my son walked, his first time he said Mommy, his bike races, how he liked to help in the kitchen, and all the little triumphs a growing boy enjoys.
Happy moments with my daughter are also easily recalled — how she was always the first to try the pool each Spring, how clever she could be and all the “little girl” moments a mother and daughter have together. Her life today is not good, but I chose not to be sad.
Four years ago my son went to his final home. I know he’s safe and happy even though we’re apart. Yes, I do miss him and miss so many moments not to be. But I don’t want to be sad anymore, not on Mother’s Day, not any anymore.
Yes, I still worry about my daughter. Today she is still a lost soul, but that can change. She also has many friends ready and willing to help. I will not be sad, not today, not any more.
So I remember happy times, not the terrifying ones and sad ones. I have years of wonderful memories and events to draw upon. My h wonderful husband, many friends and an exceptional extended family fill my life with all the antonyms of “alone”: loved, wanted, among friends. I am loved, wanted and among friends.
I chose happy thoughts today and all the tomorrows.